Some times when you record a podcast episode magic happens in the interaction in-between the guest and the host. You are about to listen to one of the most heart felt The Grant episodes I have recorded to date.

I was supposed to record an episode with two other podcasters on how we are working with our podcasts for you all. One of them got ill, but instead of cancelling independent consultant and podcaster Ilaria Rudisi and I carved out a topic on the spot where we would dig into the instances where everything goes wrong with a proposal process.

But we didn’t get to talk about that. Because in the entry of the episode we suddenly found ourselves talking about stress, anxiety, horrible managers, horrible business models, the immense pressure of KPIs, deadlines, being a young woman in the funding world in Italy, the damage that other free-working consultants they do and the lack of respect of the grants consultancy profession.

It is a talk that vibrates of anger, frustration, pain, but also hope and relief. And a profound understand and honesty between Ilaria and I. It is a conversation where I finally release to you all that I was laid off from PNO and didn’t leave myself.

Listening to this might offend some of you. Might make some of you sit uneasy on your chair. Might leave you sad. Or it might give you some peace in your stomach that your feelings of stress and anxiety are common and that others are angry about it too.

The Grant is not just about proposal preparation tips and insights to the Brussels eco-system. The podcast is indeed also a mission to shed light on all the difficult things, the darkness that is luring right under the surface and a deep determination from my side to open this up and talk about it.